PURPLE Crying Awareness
K. Magel 10.25.2010 10:04I am the mother of two children (5 1/2 & 2 1/2), who couldn't have been more different babies. My first, a son was the easiest and calmest of newborns. He slept well, nursed well, and was incredibly calm and content. We bonded well, went everywhere and enjoyed every moment of baby hood. 3 years later my daughter was born. After a very difficult pregnancy and early induction (@ 37 weeks) due to IUGR and low fluid, I thought that it would be even easier when we brought her home. We had done it once before, and well her brother was so good! This was in the spring of 2008, so purple crying education was just starting to work the hospital circuit. I had 5 years of labor delivery/post partum knowledge behind me, plus mother hood but in no way was I even close to being prepared for what was to come. My daughter cried constantly from the minute we came home until almost 6 months of age. She was irritable, easily over stimulated, a difficult nurser and hardly slept. Late afternoons through to bedtime were the worst with her crying increasing to hour after hour bouts leaving the whole family shell shocked. Nothing worked, and I began to lose all faith in my mothering abilities. I wanted to give up breastfeeding, I fought with my husband, I felt terrible for my 3 year old son who received no attention. I felt incredibly sad, and socially isolated. At three weeks in, I told my mom- my son was never like this, and she dismissed it, telling me "oh you just don't remember." After a few more family dinners that my daughter screamed through, she agreed that yes, she did cry, a lot!
Despite everyone knowing that we indeed had a "purple cryer" no one offered much help. There were no breaks, no people coming to spell me off, let me shower, or even acknowledge what we were going through. Instead there were dirty looks at social outings, or questions about whether she was milk intolerant. I felt like a social outcast. I stopped going to the mom and baby group- my only two day a week outing that allowed me to leave the house with a very active toddler. I felt like a failure. In the end one person, a family friend, came over to visit and simply said "She is fussy, she does cry. My daughter did to. There is nothing wrong with your baby. Some of the most unhappy newborns become the most pleasant of children. It'll get better, you'll see. Keep breastfeeding, carry her, love her." And it did pass. Not overnight, not for a long time. But she began to sleep more and cry less. I continued to nurse her, until 14 months in fact. We survived. My then three year old thrived. My husband and I stayed married. My daughter is now the most delightful of toddlers. She is bright, active, incredibly happy, social and so giving of affection. Our bond is incredibly strong. I adore every minute of every day with her.
I just wish that I had more- more support, more people to come and help, more acknowledgement that the crying was a real thing, and not my hormones or exhaustion interpreting it as excessive.
I also wish I had less- less dirty looks, less "advice", less pushing of bottle feeding.
I think about how I had to go through this, and how even with education and a spouse, and family support- purple crying destroyed all my confidence and rocked me to the core.
I hope this is helpful, and want to let you know how valuable I think this education is for all moms and their families.
PURPLE Crying
Jo 9.8.2010 11:58I wish I had a name to go along with this almost 6 years ago when my twins were babies. One of my daughters cried for hours every day. No matter what I did to try and calm her, nothing worked. I took her to the doctors thinking she was in pain, I called early intervention at 2 months old to have her evaluated, and even considered putting her up for adoption. I thought it was me. I thought it was my fault and that she just couldn't bond with me.
The information you are providing is priceless. I'm so glad parents have a name to put with it and some hope of things getting better because with paitence and self control they really do get better!
Last year in pre-k my daughter was voted most happy go lucky because she always has a smile on her face...who would have thought?!
Thank you for offering information and hope to new parents going through this.
HB Program Coordinator
Julie 2.20.2009 11:45Thanks for the training and guidance you provide every step of the way! I don't think we could have done so well without your constant support.
Period of PURPLE Crying Program
Mat Clinical Nurse Educator 2.5.2009 14:35The program is going very well, all the nurses think it is very valuable and wish it was running when they had their babies, (myself included).
PURPLE Implementation
BC PHN 2.3.2009 13:48I think that the DVD/info being given out in the hospital is great! I've noticed in my visits that it's a very easy/non-accusatory way to bring up infant crying during my visits to refer to the Purple Crying info. It seems to make parents more open to sharing some of their frustrations. They're talking about already having viewed the DVD, often by the time I'm visiting. So, I have only positive feedback for the program so far.
General
Justin Clien 11.10.2008 4:28LOVE WHAT YOU GUYS ARE DOING!
Welcome!
Marilyn Barr 9.7.2007 14:56Thank you for visiting the new Prevent SBS British Columbia website. We hope you will find the information valuable.
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Thank you,
Marilyn Barr
Director, Prevent SBS British Columbia